Baton Rouge's Choice For The Most Experienced In Childbirth Education And Doula Services
I was honored to meet Rosana, John, Gene and Glenn, and to be a part of this amazing experience. That day I knew I was in the presence of two heroes - Rosana, for her amazing commitment to Mikey's birth, and John, for serving our country in Iraq. Rene'
Rosana:
When I first found out I was pregnant, I knew for sure that I wanted drugs, lots and lots of drugs. Why in the world would anyone want to go through the pain of natural childbirth? It wasn’t until my 5th month of pregnancy that something just “clicked” in my head… I literally woke up one morning and decided that there was no way I would let my precious baby be exposed to drugs just for the sake of my own comfort.
At that same time, my fiancé John, deployed to Iraq for a 15 month tour, and I moved back home to Baton Rouge to live with my parents. The very first thing I did was Google “natural childbirth in Baton Rouge” and found Birth Help online. When I first met Rene’ at the Exceptional Birth Group meeting at The Red Shoes, I felt as if I had known her for years. It was her warm, nurturing, easy-going manner that helped to solidify my decision to have natural childbirth with her as my doula.
After exploring my options for a natural birth at a hospital, I switched from an OB at Woman’s Hospital to a Certified Nurse Midwife, Bethanie Genre, at The Baton Rouge General. I also made the decision to have a water birth (something my mother attempted to do 28 years ago in Baton Rouge when she birthed me naturally, but unfortunately Baton Rouge just wasn’t ready for water births back then).
Timing was a major issue for my pregnancy because of John’s deployment. He was only allowed 15 days for his leave, and we wanted to make sure he was present for the birth of our first child. Talking frequently with Rene’ and attending Birth Help’s childbirth classes really helped me feel calm and less anxious about John making it home in time for the birth. Through Rene’s guidance and the use of hypnobirthing techniques during my third trimester, I meditated and visualized my labor beginning as soon as I saw John walking through the Baton Rouge airport.
About a week before my due date, my visions became a reality. John arrived home on a Monday, and after a few natural induction methods my labor began late that night. At my doctor’s appointment the next morning on Tuesday, April 15, 2008, Bethanie informed me that I was 3cm dilated and thinned out “very nicely.” By that afternoon, my contractions quickly picked up. After a short nap and a relaxation session with my hypnobirthing CD, it was time to go to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital at 5:00 p.m. and our son, Michael Glenn Kollar, was born at 7:46 p.m., almost 3 hours later (7lbs, 13oz, 18inches). It is my firm belief that things happened so quickly because of how Rene’ taught me to think about my birth and banish all fear, doubt and anxiety.
Natural childbirth certainly isn’t pain-free, but it is pain-manageable with the right preparation during pregnancy and the right support during delivery. My mother was my partner for all the childbirth classes since John was in Iraq, and my father and other family members gave me the emotional support I needed to feel confident in my decisions.
I was able to birth in the tub with John doing an amazing job massaging my abdomen through every contraction and squeezing my pelvis. Rene’ and my mother sat at the edge of the tub as I leaned over the side and gripped their hands through the pain of transition. At one point, I bit down on the plastic lining on the tub after accidentally biting my mother’s hand first!
Just when I thought I was going to lose control (and possibly die), out of nowhere, from some far-off place in the middle of the painful battle racing through my mind and body, I heard a soft voice telling me to “stay with it, Rosana, stay with your contraction, just let it go.” And I knew exactly what she meant. I was unable to speak for those few hours during my final stages of labor, yet somehow Rene’ knew exactly what I was thinking and knew exactly what to say to me to keep me in control. Her voice was my focal point. Sure, the pain was excruciating, but having her there and just knowing she was present in the room gave me the strength and courage to maintain the right state of mind to birth my baby the way I had visualized it. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. During those final few pushes, I looked up through the haze of my primal moans and hollering and saw the faces of two women, Rene’ and my mom, who were looking back at me as if to say, “I’ve been there too….,” and that made all the difference.
John:
The story starts out about 4 months before my son’s birth. I deployed to Iraq on 29 December 07 leaving my fiancee with her parents in Baton Rouge. I felt like I failed as a father already, but on the other hand I knew it was not my choice, and that I had a duty to fulfill. What helped me learn as a father or birthing partner was asking questions to mothers and fathers with recent knowledge, meaning they just had a baby within that year. My wife Rosana was a tremendous help. She did all the research on her birth plan, looked at every possibility, pros, and cons. As for me, I just supported her in any decision that she made.
She sent me books and links on the internet to learn about child birth, water birth and something called a doula….. I had never heard of a doula until this pregnancy, a word I will never forget, though. Her name was Rene’, our Doula. She helped Rosana through every aspect of the birth, from simple advice from her experience to pulling strings to get her what she wanted when she wanted it. As a father who was helpless to do all the dirt work when it’s needed, I was very thankful for Rosana’s family and her doula for taking care of her and her needs.
The Trip Home….
My leave dates were originally 17 April 08, and I had a gut feeling to change my dates for an earlier date. 11 April 08 was now my expected time of arrival in the states. All I could think about though was if I made the wrong decision. What if the baby comes late? What if I am leaving Baton Rouge while she is in labor? These thoughts haunted me because it happened to my brother in December 07. He deployed and just a few days later, his daughter was born. Nonetheless I made it stateside 14 April 08, where I was welcomed by Rosana and her family.
I will never forget that moment. Rosana was so beautiful, glowing and very pregnant, and it was the first time I had held her since 29 December. What a great feeling it was after being numb for so long. I had shut off my emotions in Iraq and didn’t realize it until that moment. From the airport to home is such a blur, between all the excitement and the long plane ride I just endured, I hardly remember much. Things I do remember were seeing Baton Rouge General for the first time, and where Rosana was going to her appointments. Lastly was walking around downtown Baton Rouge looking for a place to eat. That night Rosana had her first contraction while we layed in bed together.
In the morning she had an appointment with her midwife Bethanie. At this time Rosana was dilated to 3 centimeters. Things happened very fast after that. By lunch Rosana was having frequent contractions, and we decided to go back to the hotel and try to get some rest. At this point, I was thankful for reading and doing the research on my part, because as she would progress, I had an idea what to expect next. As I said before, things happened fast, one thing after another- bloody show, bowel movements, and finally the face of “get me to the hospital now.”
It was about 1700. I called Rene’, she said it sounded like it was time to bring Rosana to the hospital, I notified Rosana’s parents and we were off. A classic funny moment I need to add is when we were stepping out of the elevator at the hotel and watched the kid behind the desk panic, “Is she okay?”, “Where is your car?”, “Do we need to call an ambulance?”
When we arrived at the hospital they were expecting us. Rene’ had called Bethanie and the ball was rolling. Rosana was dilated to 5 cm now. All I could do now is try to be there for everything. All I have to say is listen to her, she will tell you where to rub, how hard….and definitely when.
When we got into the tub I focused on those things, when and where she needed to be rubbed. This was no joke. I would suggest getting into the gym for a few months before attempting that kind of support. I would make sure she knew I was there by whispering “I love you” in her ear or kiss her neck. I was behind her the whole time she was on her knees and bent over on the side of the tub, just so you can get a little visual.
As the birthing process went on, I observed Rene’. This was the woman we were paying to coach Rosana through the birth. I guess it’s in my nature to make sure people do their jobs. I watched her talk Rosana through each phase, keeping her focused on what is to come and to never give up. I realized then if it were I in her place, I would not have the same effect. This is a woman that has experienced natural childbirth, knows exactly what Rosana is feeling and when.
Rosana’s reaction to Rene’ was great. I think it was because they had built trust before the birth and that Rene’ knew what to say and when to say it. It was a wise decision on our part to hire her. I watched Rosana’s mother, Gene, who sat next to Rene’ holding her daughter’s hand, comforting her.
Rosana gave a big push, and I looked down to my surprise to see the top of the baby’s head. I notified Bethanie at which time she asked if I wanted to be coached through helping birth the baby. I could not thank her enough for asking that question. The next big push and his head came out. Bethanie grabbed my hands and put them on his head and said “hold it.” He was coming out straight so his shoulders were caught up. Bethanie tried to turn him, but by then Rosana gave another big push and out he came.
Bethanie and I both raised him out of the water, and I held him while Bethanie cut the cord. All I remember at that moment was little Mikey looking right at me. He hadn’t started crying yet, so there was a moment of silence between him and me - that moment will be with me forever.
Bethanie rubbed him down to help him start to clear the lungs out. Rosana turned around and held her little boy for the first time. That moment I could not help but to cry… the feelings at that moment were so strong. Rosana’s father Glenn came into the room when he heard the cries of Mikey; watching both Glenn and Gene was priceless - they were now grandparents. We had to get Rosana out of the tub to deliver the placenta, which seemed to be painless for Rosana.
Rosana had torn pretty bad when Mikey came out with his shoulders straight, so it took about an hour for the Doc to stitch her up. I tried to stay by her side the whole time, but I will admit it was hard not to go and play with my new son. But I could see him and hear him and I found that Rosana needed my help at that moment just as much as any other time, so I stayed by her side. Michael Glenn Kollar was born on a Tuesday, 15 April 08 at 19:46 and I cherished every moment I had with him- poop, spit and all, as I finish my time in Iraq.
Gene:
I'm 61 years old, and when my daughter Rosana told me she wanted me as her coach in the delivery room with her and she was going to have natural childbirth, I was honored. John was in Iraq and I wanted to help in any way I could.
I had both my daughters by natural childbirth and was happy Rosana had decided to have hers the same way. Back in 1972 Dr. Leggio said I was his first natural childbirth. I had read the Lamaze book and practiced breathing, focusing, and relaxing. My sister-in-law was his nurse at the time and when she visited me in the labor room, she lit up a cigarette. I asked her if she could smoke outside since my pant-blowing was in the same tiny room.
Both of my labors were done at Woman's Hospital with me flat on my back staring at the clock on the opposite wall and focusing on an imaginary dot on the ceiling while I did my relaxing and breathing techniques. When I had Rosana in 1980, I wanted to do the LaBoyer water birth, but Dr. Leggio said Woman's Hospital wasn't ready for that. He did dim the lights and put Rosana on my chest, skin-to-skin, right after delivering her. Her eyes got very big as she looked around. She was very alert. During both of my deliveries, Dr. Leggio told me he was going to give me a little something to take the edge off the pain right before he gave me a shot of Demerol which only made me see several Dr. Leggios and did nothing for the pain. Also, right before the final push during the delivery he said he was going to perform a small episiotomy and then I felt a burn. I had no idea what that was. So as honored as I was to be Rosana's birthing coach, I might not be the best birthing coach material unless not smoking during her labor counted.
Enter the doula. Things have changed quite a bit in 28 years. I had never heard of a doula. I don't think we had doulas back in the day. But Rosana is an informed consumer, and she found Rene’ Johnson, her doula.
Rosana learned that Woman's Hospital still didn't allow water births and her ob/gyn wasn't too keen on natural childbirth, so she switched to The Baton Rouge General on Bluebonnet and also to the midwife Bethanie Genre. All this time John in Iraq is reading and preparing and is in constant communication with Rosana.
I went with Rosana to Rene's three childbirth classes and learned a lot. I was not aware that a baby has to make a right angle turn in the birth canal before his head emerges facing his Mom's rear. I also learned that flat on your back labor is the most painful and generally not done anymore. There are so many better positions and aids to help women in labor now.
Even with this newly gained knowledge I was still feeling unsure how I would react with my child in labor. It's one thing when I'm in pain, but quite another when it's my own child no matter how old she is.
So here's what happened:
Rosana, Glenn and I met John at the airport on Monday. He was supposed to be here on Wednesday, but someone gave up their seat for him, so he was arriving 2 days early which turns out to be a really good thing. Rene’ had told Rosana to visualize going into labor when she embraced John at the airport. Even though this was April 14 and Mikey was due April 23, we wanted Mikey born before John had to leave to go back to Iraq on April 30th. So we waited and watched at the Baton Rouge Airport, but nothing happened.
Rosana had booked a room for them at the Hilton on Monday and Tuesday. John didn't get much sleep Monday night because Rosana was having contractions during the night. Tuesday morning they saw Bethanie and she said Rosana was 3cm dilated. Rosana and John came home for lunch with Glenn. He said one of her contractions was so intense she had to put her head down on the kitchen table.
I wanted to come home from work, but Glenn said they were going back to the Hilton to take a nap. It killed me to stay at work. Well, at 4:30 Glenn called me and said they were on their way to the hospital. I flew home to pick up Glenn and threw some things in a bag in case we'd be in the hospital overnight as I was in labor for 21 hours for my first.
Glenn and I got to the hospital at 5:30. He, Rene', and John (between contractions) set up the tub. After it was set up, Rosana and John showered and then got in the tub. Rosana was on her knees and was gripping the side of the tub. John was behind her massaging her hips during her contractions. He was tireless in his efforts to help ease her pain during each contraction. He would occasionally shake his hands out and then start massaging again. Glenn was outside in the hall. Rene’ was on one side of Rosana offering encouraging words and I was on the other side doing whatever Rene’ was doing and saying whatever she was saying.
I had never needed someone as much as I'd needed Rene’ right then. She kept me calm with her presence and knowledge. She also told Rosana to visualize Mikey coming down her birth canal. She was so calm and reassuring that my fear and panic of my daughter's pain was kept at bay. My lack of coaching material was made up for by Rene's expertise. I would gently touch Rosana's right hand or shoulder whenever Rene’ would do the same on her left side.
Rosana was so courageous. She owned each contraction, she became vocal when she needed, she was attuned to her body and what was happening and she did it her way without any drugs at all. John worked nonstop massaging her and helping her with each contraction. They are my true heroes.
I'm so honored that I was there for my grandson Mikey's birth. He was born at 7:46 on April 15 weighing 7lb 13oz and was 18 in long. I am so happy that John was right there for the arrival of his son's head. After he caught Mikey's head, Bethanie pulled his shoulders out and handed him to John. So John was the first person to hold his son, skin to skin.
Mikey's eyes were wide open the whole time, just like his mom's 28 years earlier. Rosana turned around in the tub and John gave Mikey to her. She asked where her Dad was, so he came in the room then. He was crying.
It was amazing, what an experience! We barely had time to set up the tub, plug in the cd player and Mikey arrived. How different from my own childbirth experiences. I learned all about birth plans, doulas, water births, and more.
Mikey with his eyes wide open and alert and his little sucking blister on his hand brought all the memories back of my own precious little baby I held to my chest 28 years earlier.
I may have been a nervous wreck, but I was so happy and feel so blessed to have been a part of such a sacred moment in Rosana, John, and Mikey's lives. Glenn and I continue to feel blessed to have Rosana and Mikey with us until John returns.
We still look at each other and ask is it real. We smile constantly. We marvel every day at this gorgeous, precious miracle --- our grandson!
Glenn:
I remember the night Rosana called. I answered the phone. We chatted for a few minutes, then she said she had something to tell us. I got Genie so we could both listen together. “I am pregnant.” Tears of happiness filled me. I don’t remember what was said after that. My little girl is going to have a baby – was all that I could think.
She moved in with us in December. John left for Iraq. Sharing with her and watching her build her “nest” in the house she grew up in, in the bedroom she grew up in, was a whirlwind of joy for me.
Eight months later, John is home on leave, we’re sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch (the three of us, Genie is at work). Rosana’s contractions have started. She lays her head on the table as one intensifies. A lump forms in my throat. I hold it back. My little girl is going have a baby. She wants to rest, so John takes her back to the hotel where they have a room reserved for some private time together.
A few hours later Bethanie (midwife) calls to check on Rosana. She had already been informed that contractions had started. I call the hotel (around 4:30 PM) to tell Rosana. John answers. We talk a bit, then he calmly informs me that they are leaving for the hospital. I answered with some comment such as, “So y’all are going to let Bethanie check Rosana?” John – “No, we’re going to have a baby.” Me – “The baby is coming?” John – “yes.” Me – “See you at the hospital.”
I call Genie at work to tell her the news. She rushes home and we head to the hospital, arriving at around 5:00 PM. Rosana is already in the birthing room, along with John, Rene’ (doula), Bethanie and other staff. John and I help set up the tub. Contractions are getting stronger and closer. My little girl is going to have a baby.
When she is ready to get into the tub, I leave the room. I begin my vigil in the waiting room, prepared to stay for as long as it takes! I sit a few minutes then walk down the hall to stand outside the birthing room door. Rosana’s contractual moans are getting louder and more intense. At one point, two ladies walk by and one comments, “Lord, I know what she goin’ through!” I smile.
Back to the waiting room, back to the door. A nurse walks out, goes to a closet to get towels. Me – “How is she doing?” Nurse – “Fine, doing her final push.” Me – “You mean the baby is coming?” Nurse – “Won’t be long now.”
Primordial moans leave the room. Another, then another, then a very long one. Silence. Genie – “Look, his eyes are open!” A baby cries. I want to be in that room so bad!! My eyes are tearing. The door finally opens. I walk around the curtain. Rosana and John are in the tub. Rosana is holding Mikey. She is crying. I am crying and looking in disbelief. I bend over to kiss her and Mikey as I sob. My little girl had a baby!!